Thoughts on religion

I live in the deep south where religion is an important part of a lot of peoples lives. It just happens to not be a part of mine. I can't tell you how many people have asked me what church I go to, what religion I am, or am I Christian. This is really rude if you think about it, but very common where I live.

Here is what I believe. The world and its events has a lot of randomness and chaos. There is also a lot of unexplained phenomena that occurs. Humans as a species hates this because it makes us uncomfortable and scared. This is where religion comes in - it's a way to explain the unexplainable and make humans feel like their lives have purpose and meaning. I just don't buy it.

My father is an agnostic that is pretty close to an atheist. My mother would like to believe, but I'm not sure if she really does (I haven't bothered to ask her). I went to church regularly until I was 18 and went to college. Even when I was going to church, I was highly skeptical about the whole thing. At various times I've wanted to believe, but I just can't. In a lot of ways it would make my life easier - have something to believe in, be a part of a community, have this nice afterlife to look forward to, but I feel it's all just bullshit. Scared people looking for something to make their shitty lives better and to absolve themselves of personal responsibility (sins).

I have a disabled son, who in the old days would be called retarded. People have said that God gives people what they can handle or that I should trust in the Lord or the worst - that it is just God's will. You know what? If I did believe in God I'd be mad at him, so what's the point? None of that gets me anywhere in taking care of my son. He has genetic defects that happened (randomly most likely)which caused his problems. No god involved. So basically I keep on going, taking care of my son the best I can and I don't worry about God or religion.